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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Sept 17, 2008 16:42:58 GMT -5
"I think, therefor I am"?
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Sept 18, 2008 11:38:45 GMT -5
Huh!?
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Arnold
Iron Bane
Page Centurion
Posts: 4,367
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Post by Arnold on Sept 18, 2008 18:45:38 GMT -5
When in doubt, "wiki" that shit.
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Sept 18, 2008 20:03:43 GMT -5
Lol. Good one.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Sept 20, 2008 14:45:14 GMT -5
42 Puns
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. 4. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. 5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 7. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 8. A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months. 9. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. 10. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A. 12. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. 13. The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 14. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 15. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. 16. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 17. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired. 18. A will is a dead giveaway. 19. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 20. A backward poet writes inverse. 21. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes. 22. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 23. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 24. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 25. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner. 26. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 27. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 28. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. 29. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. 30. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. 31. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. 32. A calendar’s days are numbered. 33. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 34. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 35. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 36. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 37. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall. 38. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine. 39. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 40. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses. 41. Acupuncture: a jab well done. 42. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Sept 20, 2008 18:55:23 GMT -5
Rofl!!!
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Arnold
Iron Bane
Page Centurion
Posts: 4,367
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Post by Arnold on Sept 20, 2008 21:10:48 GMT -5
My top 5:
5. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
4. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
3. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
2. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
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BlackHelicopter
Viceroy
Millenium Falcon
tell me what the rain knows...
Posts: 1,849
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Post by BlackHelicopter on Sept 21, 2008 17:11:55 GMT -5
a baby seal goes into a bar and waddles over to the counter where the barkeep asks "what can i get you?"... the baby seal replies, "oh anything, just not a Canadian Club on the rocks"...
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Sept 22, 2008 13:33:53 GMT -5
Lol, good one.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Mar 13, 2010 23:48:56 GMT -5
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"
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