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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Feb 21, 2005 23:04:35 GMT -5
Their was a hippy and a nun on a bus. the hippy walks over to the nun and askes to have sex. the nun emediatly exits the bus after it stopped.
the hippy askes the bus driver what he should do, he tells him that the nun goes to the graveyard evry day at midnight, and says that if you arrive disguised as god, and command her to have sex with you, she will do it.
at midnight, the nun arrives, just as the bus driver said. the hippy who was dressed as god appears to her, and said, "I, God have come to answer your prayrs. but first, you must have sex with me" the nun agrees, but askes to do it in the butt so she will keep her verginity, the hippy (disguised as god) agrees. after they are done, the hippy pulls his mask off and goes, "Ha ha! im the hippy!" the nun then pulls her mask off and yells. "ha ha! im the Bus Driver!"
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Post by Googy McFloogal Puss on Feb 22, 2005 2:29:52 GMT -5
ROFLMAO!!!
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Post by Chupa Spotter on Feb 22, 2005 12:32:11 GMT -5
1.What red white and blue, that floats in water?
2.What's red white and silver that runs into walls?
a.1 a slashed baby with floaty's a.2 a baby with forks in it's eyes
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Post by Chupa Spotter on Feb 22, 2005 12:35:53 GMT -5
There is a blonde, brunet and a red head all camping by a river. The red head decides to have a race to see who can swim across first. So the red head says they can only use the breast stroke so it will be a fair race. So the brunet is the first one to make it across the river. Next the red head came about ten minutes later, they decide to wait for the blond. They stay there all night and in the next after noon the blonde comes out of the water and yells at them. No fair! You used your hands!!!
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Post by GlacetheIceLord on Feb 22, 2005 17:37:40 GMT -5
Family Reunion
You know your a redneck if you go to a family reunion looking for a girlfriend.
Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
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Post by Chupa Spotter on Feb 22, 2005 22:36:32 GMT -5
There once was a man named Bill. Who swallowed a dynamite pill. His but back fired and his dick flew over the hill.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Mar 6, 2005 15:36:37 GMT -5
Q: What did the Five Fingers say to the face?
A: SLAP!
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Aug 1, 2005 17:26:50 GMT -5
A man and a Priest are golfing. The man hits the ball, it dosnt go in the hole. "Damnit, I missed!" said the man. The Priest said, "Do now swear, or god will be angry" Theb man hit the ball, and missed "Damnit, I missed!" "Do not swear, or god will smite you." The man hits the ball, and misses again, and shure enogh, he says, "Damnit, I missed!" Dark clowds moved in. "Dont swear, or god will strike you with lightning." Said the Priest. The Man hit the ball, Misses, and said, "Damnit! I missed!" Lighting came down and struck the Priest, A big voice from the Sky said, "Damnit, I missed!"
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Post by Googy McFloogal Puss on Aug 2, 2005 5:56:04 GMT -5
Hehehe...
This isn't a joke, it's a true story, but a parrot that went to live at a bird sanctuary when it's owner went to live in America used to watch "post-watershed TV". The mayor and vicar were going on a tour of the sanctuary, the mayor saw the parrot and said "Look - a parrot!!!" "FUCK OFF." the parrot responded. "No," said the vicar, "YOU fuck off."
True story.
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Post by Vensent on Aug 2, 2005 7:33:01 GMT -5
*licks the entire left side of Alex's face*
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Post by Googy McFloogal Puss on Aug 2, 2005 7:36:15 GMT -5
Why??!
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Post by Vensent on Aug 2, 2005 7:38:08 GMT -5
I'ma kitty.
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Post by Chupa Spotter on Aug 2, 2005 10:50:50 GMT -5
A gay kitty! You got burned... That wasn't really that clever.... Damn... I got burned....
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Aug 2, 2005 13:09:08 GMT -5
Theres Only Room Enogh For ONE kitty around here! Ya got that!?
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Post by Googy McFloogal Puss on Aug 2, 2005 13:37:37 GMT -5
Big cat?
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