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Post by Chupa Spotter on Aug 5, 2005 19:33:27 GMT -5
I'll help! *Throws tampon at girls, abosrbing them instantly* I've allways wanted to try that...
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Post by Googy McFloogal Puss on Aug 5, 2005 20:12:33 GMT -5
The only time I ever said anything particularly bad to some girls was when they were getting all bitchy because we weren't running and pushing to get through a corridor at school and they kept trying to barge past us but we were taking our time. They shouted something at us (we hadn't really taken long to get through, they were just impatient) so I said "Go stick a tampon in it, ya bitches". True story.
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Post by Chupa Spotter on Aug 5, 2005 21:23:28 GMT -5
That proboballly put their crack hoe asses in place. In the 9th grade in my math class there was this anoying little fagot kid we called milky because he was so pale. Anyways, this one day he had to go to some meeting and this girl in my class handed me a tampon out of her purse. I just asked why she gave me it and she said some stupid reason. Milky asked for it so I gave it to him. He left to go to his meeting and apparently went to a water fountin and got the tampon wet. He came by the class room and threw the tampon at the fuckin window. It was up there for almost the entire class before a janitor came up and took it down. It was funny.... But I still hate that kid.....
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Apr 24, 2008 17:54:13 GMT -5
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
****
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket.
Before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Apr 24, 2008 18:56:30 GMT -5
Rofl. You have two choices in life. You can not get married and be miserable. Or you can get married and wish you were dead.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Aug 16, 2008 18:49:58 GMT -5
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
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BlackHelicopter
Viceroy
Millenium Falcon
tell me what the rain knows...
Posts: 1,849
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Post by BlackHelicopter on Aug 17, 2008 6:14:02 GMT -5
so a baby seal walks into a club...
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Aug 17, 2008 15:56:39 GMT -5
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WarmrootBeer
Dragoon
A Josh Recruit
Chin up, squire, and do not fret the veil before you!
Posts: 2,041
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Post by WarmrootBeer on Aug 20, 2008 20:02:29 GMT -5
hehe, rimshot
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Aug 21, 2008 8:14:40 GMT -5
Lol.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Aug 30, 2008 18:23:06 GMT -5
"Wanna hear a Stalin joke?"
"Ok."
"Knock Knock"
"Who's ther-"
"I ASK THE QUESTIONS!"
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Arnold
Iron Bane
Page Centurion
Posts: 4,367
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Post by Arnold on Aug 30, 2008 19:48:49 GMT -5
That's funny 'cause it's true.
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Aug 30, 2008 19:56:18 GMT -5
Lol.
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Post by Bengl Von Shadowstein on Sept 16, 2008 21:20:31 GMT -5
Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he'd like a beer. Descartes promptly responds with, "I think not!" then disappears.
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Post by SquirrelBoy on Sept 17, 2008 10:58:05 GMT -5
*expects Bengl to tell him who Descartes is*
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